Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Smelly Yeti: Still haven't ordered the yeti, but I did get another sample set

Things I like about Smelly Yeti:

  • the name is amusing
  • the descriptions of the scents are wacky
  • they have a nice wide variety of scents
  • they sell a yeti in their shop (may be priced so high that no one can buy it, but still)
  • there is no LE scents, so no mad rush
I generally like Smelly Yeti, even if my free sample that I got with this sample pack was Bee Tsar, which smells strongly of honey and I will tell your right now that I opened it, sniffed it, laughed, and tossed the vial in my destash basket because I do not like honey in any way, shape, or form. Sorry. 

Smelly Yeti reopened in the spring, with a bunch of brand-new scents. I had to have them. I had to try them, anyway. In my quest to reduce my pile of perfume, I've realized that I don't really need to buy full sizes all the time because a) that's expensive and b) just because I like something doesn't mean I love it. Finding this out is far better with a sample. So I ordered this pack while patting myself on the back for being so virtuous as to buy samples AND take advantage of a sale.

Note to self: the Canadian dollar is so low right now that sales aren't really sales because my purchasing power has dropped. Remember this. 

I picked up We Are As Gods, Can't Go to Mexico, The Illuminati is Real and Yes I am in it, Glorious, and Smelt of Elderberries. 

We Are As Gods

"That's right, man. The trio. Living as gods."

And ambrosia is the food of the gods! We don't know what that tastes like, but the next closest thing is ambrosia salad: coconut, pineapple, cool whip, cream cheese, pecan, cherry, and a heaping handful of marshmallows.

Is this the most accurate scent to represent a few basement dwelling evil nerds? Maybe not, but no one wants to smell like desperation and sadness.

In the vial, this reminded me of caramel. Well, until I sniffed it a bit more and realized it smelled more like cream cheese frosting. For some reason, my nose likes to treat those two to be the same thing. It's very realistic and very delicious and I need something covered in cream cheese frosting now. On my skin, it become fruitier and creamier, kind of like tropical fruit on cream cheese frosting. (I need to stop saying cream cheese frosting, seriously.) The pineapple is at the front for a while, with something sweet and red alongside it. Over the wear time, it fades to coconut and cream cheese frosting. It's got low-moderate sillage, and lasted about six hours on my skin. It's a very rich, decadent scent, so I get the "food of the gods" thing. 

Can't Go to Mexico

Breathing in the hot desert air, you take a sip of your drink. You love these desert nights. A tall Mexican coke with a couple of limes squeezed in, garnished with cactus blossom. You do this every friday, even though it means that you have to send the limes and flower through the decontamination chamber every time. Does the cactus flower really add all that much? Maybe not, but you feel fancy and you like feeling fancy. The desert air is suddenly agitated, blowing the cactus blossom into your eyes. as you pull it away and squint against the sand, you see a row of lights blinking in the distance. Aluminum panels and steam. Taking a step closer, you get out your phone and open up Snapchat.

"Enrique's gonna love this." 

In the vial, this is sweet and tangy, mostly lime. There's something a little bit floral in the back of this scent, and it remains this green, slightly sweet floral note throughout the wear. It's not as fizzy as I thought it would be, which is kind of sad, because I assumed it would be. I buy scents because of the promised bubbles, guys. Admittedly, I'm unfamiliar with Mexican Coke, which, upon a quick search, discovered it is literally Coca Cola imported from Mexico. Okay, then. According to the experts at Wikipedia, it has a herbal note with some spice. Which explains the fact that there was a touch of spice in it as it dried down. It remains sweet and tangy, but the spice adds some depth. I was massively confused about this until I read that Wikipedia article, because I expected something like a rum and coke. Or Pepsi Lime. Oh my goodness, I miss Pepsi Lime. Come back to me. Anyway, this had moderate sillage and lasted about eight confusing hours on my skin, because I had no clue what Mexican Coke was.

The Illuminati is Real and Yes I am in it

Wake up, sheeple.

Looking for a blend that subtly evokes respect, physical attraction, and a sensualsort of POWER OVER THE MASSES OF THISWEAK AND FRAGILE EARTH, SHEEP IN NEeD OF SHEPheRdING would you like a cup of tea, Alfred? No thank you, makes me nervous. 

Blackcurrant scones dusted lightly with cinnamon and sugar, teacakes spread with raspberry jam...what, did you think it was going to be reptilian skin and sulfur? How déclassé! How gauche! Power smells like a well catered luncheon.

In the vial, this smells very strongly of sweet, cooked berries. It's a mix of berries, so just generic berry scent, with a liberal dose of sugar. As it dries down on me, a buttery biscuit note emerges, but it doesn't really work on my skin as a whole. The berries and biscuit never really merge for me and so it fell kind of flat. The Illuminati is totally going to kill me now, but sorry, Illuminati. I'm not a fan of this one. The sillage on this one is on the higher moderate end, and lasted about four hours on my skin.


"You know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me"

 Champagne, straight from the bottle. Actually, better make that two bottles. Maybe three. But drinking isn't great on an empty stomach. Snap your fingers and a demon minion brings a bowl of berries, drizzled with cream, garnished with kumquat. A little excessive? Maybe, but why not? You are a hell goddess after all.  

BUBBLES. FIZZ. IT'S MAGICAL. In the vial, this smells like delightful, fizzy, fruity, fantastic champagne. It's a fairly linear scent, remaining as it smelled in the vial on my skin for the most part. Toward the end of wear, this went the tiniest bit soapy, but not in a way that I found unpleasant. This one is heavier on the champagne for me, and the fruity just sweeten up the edges. The sillage is on the high moderate side, but the wear was about four hours total. It faded to a vaguely fizzy creamy scent about three hours in. 

Smelt of Elderberries

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

 A cask of rich red wine, mulled with forest berries and infused with elderberry, of course. One whiff and you'll realize it's not much of an insult after all - you smell good. Doesn't help with the whole hamster-mom situation, but that was a lost cause anyway. Beware of belligerent Frenchmen.

Ah, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. One of my favourite movies. In the vial, this smells like sangria. Loads of berries, and red wine, and just very sweet and delicious. It does go artificial on me as it dries down, which sucks. However, the artificial stage doesn't last for very long, and it veers back to being sangria - better and darker than the initial scent. It remains like this for the rest of the wear. Its sillage is on the lower side, which is good, because while I love sangria, I don't think everyone in a room needs to know that I drank a lot of Jost sangria when I was writing my honours thesis in undergrad and retain a very deep love for it today. It lasted about seven hours on my skin.

This was a mixed bag. I'm most enthusiastic about Glorious and Smelt of Elderberries, but since the Canadian dollar is so low, I probably won't be getting bottles for a while. Plus that whole destashing business...I think Smelt of Elderberries might win out for full bottle status. It's just so good. I need to smell like wine in addition to drinking it copiously. Apparently.

Smelly Yeti can be found here.

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