Saturday, 17 October 2015

Working with Mini-Sclerals

I've had my brand-new, shiny, expensive contact lenses for five weeks now. I already spoke about what it's like to be a (mildly) visually impaired makeup enthusiast, but now I'm one of those crazy people with 20/20 corrected vision. When I wear my sclerals. In a controlled environment. As I pointed out to my father over the weekend, just because I test at 20/20 with the new lenses doesn't actually mean that I see like your average person, after he gave me a hard time about not being able to distinguish the empty out indicators on the scorebox on TV when we were watching the Blue Jays-Rangers game (and I'm not a baseball fan, but because I grew up in my house, I have watched an extraordinary amount of Blue Jays games for someone who doesn't like baseball. But regardless, fuck yeah Blue Jays). 

After getting over the initial change in my contact lens habits (I need to take my lenses out with a mini-plunger thing, I need to carry around eyedrops now - okay, I probably should have done so before - in order to keep my eyes from drying out and looking like I've been toking all day, I need to use a mirror to take them out, I now use way more lens solution than ever before because I use it to fill the lens before putting it in), I realized something else had changed. 

My mini-sclerals have changed the way my eyes look. 

My new "kit": mirror, eyedrops, spare contact case, mysterious things that are supposed to help me put on my sclerals (they don't), plunger thing to take out the sclerals, spare plunger thing, pouch to contain it.

I haven't actually seen what my eyes look like without glasses or contact lenses in...oh, I don't know, fifteen years? Possibly longer. Whenever my vision shifted from mildly myopic to oh-I-think-we-have-a-problem-here. For the past 11 and a half years, I wore the same kind of rigid gas permeable lenses, and I got used to how my eyes looked with those in. it turns out, the shape of my eyes is not what I thought it was.

Realistically, it's not that big a deal and I don't think anyone has noticed. But I definitely have seen a change - my eyes look brighter in colour, which is probably the new liquid layer between my eye and the scleral lenses, and they look larger. Because of the difference in where my sclerals and my RGPs sit on the eye, my eye shape is now different. My eyelids are not as droopy as I once thought. The asymmetry in my eyes is not as pronounced as I once thought. My eyes are bigger, because my eyelids aren't resting on a small, corneal lens. 

I also have a tiny bit of fear that my sclerals make me look bug-eyed. Possibly they do. I haven't decided. That delicious, crisp vision, though...

Anyway, clearly the most important issue here is that even subtle changes in eye shape have completely thrown off my eye makeup. Even though I don't wear much of it. Is there a new, more flattering way to wear my eyeshadow? Eyeliner? Am I delusional? Do I look bug-eyed? Is there a blue shadow that I can wear now without looking ridiculous since the colour of my eyes with mini-sclerals is now slightly different? 

When am I going to get used to my new face?

So many questions. I think I'm starting to get used to how I look with them in now. I remember taking some shots of a new lip colour a few days after I got my new lenses and I couldn't pick one that I thought looked good because my face didn't quite look like my face. I haven't had this crisis repeated over selfies in a couple of weeks.

I have essentially cast off most makeup as of late while I try to figure out how to deal with my slightly altered face. And while my replacement Pumpkin & Poppy Oak Bark Contouring Powder arrives because I left my pot in the hotel room on wedding weekend. I have been experimenting with dewier, glowier skin, and I might almost be ready to give up my matte-skin-all-the-time 

It's been a startling few weeks while I realized that one of the unforeseen side effects of contact lenses is that they influence the shape of your eyes and by extension, how your face looks (another unforeseen side effect is that since I now wear sclerals, I no longer have a lens reshaping my cornea every day and as it turns it, without the reshaping, my glasses are useless because they were fit on a person whose reshaped cornea affected her uncorrected eyesight. So I can't see with my glasses anymore. UGH). I feel like this should have occurred to me at some point, but it didn't. The desensitizing of the cornea, the photosensitivity, the kinds of makeup I can use - these I did sign up for. Reacquainting myself with my face? Not so much.

One thing that didn't go away was my photosensitivity. I could have done without that. 

I am a blank slate.

Did you ever have something change your look, completely out of the blue?


  1. Well if it helps any, I don't think you look any different than normally in your photo, so I wouldn't worry too much about possible bug eyes! (Though real bug eyes might be kinda neat, imagine all those weird faceted visions....I could do with bug legs too, more nails to paint...) I hope you have a good journey rediscovering your face, because it's the one we've all been seeing in photos here on this blog, and I think plenty of your readers would agree it is a very nice face.

    For me, I'm getting used to something I used to have not much! I'm growing it out for the first time in like, 6 or 7 years, and now it's nearly mid-neck and I'm not used it it! Mine's like a thick mane too, so it really takes some re-acquainting. It's like man, I used to joke about never having hairbands, and now I'm lost without one! What in god's name have I gotten myself into...

    1. I told my partner that my new lenses changed the way my eyes looked and he looked at me like I was crazy, confirming that I spend way more time dwelling on this than anyone else. And thank you!

      Long hair has always snuck up on me. I'll decide I'm growing it out and it will feel short to me for a while, until suddenly I see a picture of myself and notice that my hair is halfway to my waist.

    2. I think it's probably kinda like hearing your own voice, like when you hear a recording you're like "that's not me!!" but everyone is like, "that's how you always sound to me!". It naturally does take getting used to, but I'm sure in time you'll barely remember time without it!

      Haha I have ids of myself from years ago with suuuper long hair--they don't even look like me anymore!

  2. I need to go to the eye doctor and get new contacts. I don't wanna. :(


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